Pick your fighter: The local specialty coffee shop menu is getting totally out of hand. Pick 4 drinks you'd secretly order if nobody was judging you.

Options

• The $9 iced oat milk matcha with strawberry foam
• A flat white, to pretend I know about coffee
• An espresso, strictly for the aesthetics
• The seasonal pumpkin-spice-caramel disaster
• A black drip coffee to assert dominance
• Literally just hot chocolate disguised as a mocha
• A cold brew that tastes like battery acid but wakes me up
• The 500-calorie blended frappuccino dessert drink
• Cortado, because it sounds sophisticated
• Whatever the barista recommends so I seem chill
• A decaf latte (the ultimate controversial move)
• I just want a regular coffee, please stop making it complicated